Roping in your Coping

The way we deal with stress in our lives is how we cope. Whatever it is that we do to help us through those situations whether it is doing something crazy, clinically suggested, or totally ignoring the problem and doing nothing. These are all types of coping. What I have found recently is that my coping strategies have been changing a lot recently and I have started to let go of reality.

It sounds absolutely crazy to say, and rightfully so. I am losing touch with reality. I have had to swallow some pretty hard pills recently. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I am really messed up in the head, and if I were left to myself to make decisions I would end up super depressed and hurt. I have also had to come to terms with the idea that I am just clueless when it comes to how to act around people. I have tried both these things and it has led to lots of correcting and pain. Now I am learning so many different things because I have swallowed those pills and have been making those changes. 

The changing process has been absolutely amazing, I am living a lot happier, and I am noticing all the differences it is making in my life. But it is starting to chip away at me. I have started to lose trust in my coping abilities because of the pain those coping mechanisms have brought me. I now look to other people to help me to find healthy ways to cope. And with my mind being so open I have felt my mind being open to a lot of other ideas that have become scary to me. For instance, I have let go of my own beliefs so much that the only things I can come to terms with is my own existence and that hoping is good. I will clarify. I am so far gone that I can’t believe for certain that anything else in this universe exists including the planets, starts, and the people here on Earth. It’s not that I think this is all a simulation. I have just come to not trust what I see or what I feel. I do not deny that this could all be real, but I also don’t deny that this could all be in my head and I made it up so that I wouldn’t feel so lonely in the universe. 

I know that is hard to follow so if you find a way through it… good job. In essence coping mechanisms are very important and they need to be accepted by the person using them. Part of coping in a healthy way is to take responsibility and recognize what is actually going on, who has done what, and what the steps were to create the situation that presently befalls any person. Another part of coping in a healthy way is knowing what to do with all the information. I don’t know what to do with the information I find about the situations I find myself in. 

I don’t know how to get out of this. I can only hope that as I keep walking forward with hope in a bright future and hoping that this is all real, I will eventually learn something that helps me to get over this. Be careful with how you cope, but don’t lose confidence in yourself. When you lose confidence in yourself, you can only live a life dependent on others. A life dependent on others will not lead to success. It is a loose foundation that healthy people look to for advice when necessary, but the only thing you should trust fully is your own individual feelings.