Chipping Away

 Chipping Away

I got the chance this week to think about differences and how beautiful they are. I feel like we can be afraid of different things at times. It could be a different place, person, group of friends, a new school, or a new candy even. It is pretty normal for all of us to get nervous or scared about different things and that is something we need to accept about ourselves. 

Differences are so important to recognize, and it is hard to recognize the good that those differences can do if we are scared about what bad things could come from our differences. For a long time having equal rights has been very prevalent in society as it should be, but there comes a time when we can start to confuse having equal rights to being the same as each other. I had a great discussion with a group of people about this subject in terms of men and women. I was very surprised to learn about the different studies that show us that men and women have differences at their core and how beautiful that can be in a relationship. We talked about how women are nurturing for the most part while men are more focused on protecting and providing for the most part. Of course we are all on a spectrum of how we act, I am merely stating that it is mostly women who act within the realm of nurturing and mostly men act within the protective and providing realm. There are definitely women out there who act more protective than some males and there are definitely men out there who act more nurturing than some women. 

But as we talk about all the differences men and women have in the way they see the world, act, and think I think it is also very important to recognize that this plays a role in healthy relationships. When I was a kid I was taught about the misconception of arguing as a couple. I was taught that arguing is perfectly healthy and natural. I had never really considered why until recently. We all have a nature that drives us to do similar things to other humans and even very different things that other humans don’t relate to as easily and it is important to recognize and respect your nature. So what can be expected when two people come together and their natures are not exactly the same? They are bound to disagree on something. This does not mean that the relationship is faulty but only that there is a balance that the two of you have not figured out yet in the relationship. There are plenty of disagreements that are too much for a healthy relationship, but I am referring to the items of business that most would call trivial. 

But the point I am trying to make is that it is perfectly normal to expect two people with different natures to fight sometimes. It reminds me of a balancing act. For the most part women will be the voice of kindness while men for the most part will be the voice of hard correction. So when it comes to raising children, the father and mother will never agree completely. The father will always be wanting the mother to correct harder and the mother will always be wanting the father to show more kindness. 

The thing that really interests me is that each of them are correct when it comes to the other, but neither are correct in saying that they themselves have it right. I think that the two opposing natures that men and women have in certain respects are not the best on their own. The mother is too kind and the father is too harsh. It is only when they come together and have those arguments that they can begin to balance each other out.